Oil Massage, Full body
Paul H. Byerly
Notes: This article is for couples where the wife does not have significant sexual problems. If she has "sexual hang-ups, " and especially if she has unresolved sexual abuse in her past, please see the non-sexual massage article.
For readability, most of the pronouns here are written for a husband massaging his wife. Where there are gender differences, they are noted; otherwise, you can switch the pronouns for her massaging him.
Massage, arousal, and happy endings
Massage between a husband and wife is inherently sexual. How sexual it is varies depending on the mood, how tired the receiver is, and how long it has been since you last had sex. Because men are so visual, giving a full body massage will almost certainly result in some degree of arousal, and probably high arousal. Unless the massage so relaxes the receiver that s/he is more asleep than awake, there is a good chance a long massage will arouse both the giver and the receiver. Aside from the intimate, sensual, and sexual aspects, massage releases a great deal of oxytocin into body. Both the one being massaged and the one doing the massage will experience an increase in oxytocin, and the intimate bond that oxytocin causes (more on oxytocin).
Either spouse can give a sexual massage, but I suggest you limit to one recipient each time. Focus on one spouse, to give them the greatest pleasure possible. Use this as foreplay, or with the intention of it having a “happy ending”. If the massage ends in climax, the recipient needs to be prepared to offer their spouse some sexual release if desired/needed. The longer the massage, the more sexual tension you build, and that means a better orgasm, so take your time! A half an hour of massage is a good goal.
The room needs to be comfortably warm for the recipient of the massage. This may make it a bit too warm for the one doing the massage, especially if he is doing her; this is a necessary sacrifice to doing it right. If sweating is an issue, have a hand towel handy to keep from dripping on her. The amount of clothing on the one giving the massage should be selected for maximum sexual titillation of the recipient. When she is doing the massaging naked, lingerie, or removing an item of clothing every few minutes will all work well. When he is doing the massage she may or may not want to see his erection bobbing about; go with naked, boxers, or skimpy bikini briefs (some women love that bulge) depending on her preference.